Intoduction: Here's a little something that the boy contributed - and it proves that he is as crazy as I mentioned. Who would everever think of such nutty things but him? Anyway, prepare to be disturbed. (Remember, I warned you.)

To the chicken stand we go... yo-ho! We're eatin lotsa greasy food... yo-ho!

Whoever invented work should be forced to do more than me. But I bet he just sits around and makes money off his invention.

The average person eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. I have probably eaten a lot more, because I think they're yummy. What if you woke up with a spider in your mouth? What would you do? I think I would go "mmm, crunchy." The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it... that's more legs than an insect has in it... how do you think the insects feel about that? If it has 8 legs does that make the chocolate bar a spider too? Wow, I've eaten A LOT of spiders.

If I'm ever on Whose Line Is it Anyway... and they do that skit where I make up a title for a song and a guy has to sing about it, I'm gonna use one of those words that nothing rhymes with... like purple, orange, month, oriole.... that would be great. So watch for me on Whose Line Is It Anyway.

How come people talk about Leonardo DiVinci being such a thinker, and how he drew all these drawing that are like today's inventions (like the helicopter and stuff) and no one ever mentions that he invented scissors.... scissors man! Compare how many people use scissors to how many people use helicopters. I think we should educate people about this.

Florida is the state with the lowest "Highest point"

Marco!.... Polo!..... Marco!.... Polo!.... Marco! Marco! Marco! Fish out of water!

What's up with High School? Doesn't anyone realize this is a bad idea? I mean... why do so many people go that don't really need to be going and all they do is make it harder and worse for kids that do need and want to go? That almost made sense... but anyway, my point is that a higher percentage of Americans were literate the year right before they started making all teenagers go to High School than people have ever been since. Kinda scary huh? Hookt on pfonics werks for mee.

Why do I know all these pointless facts?

You know those computers that play chess? What is the point of that? Are we gonna use these in the next chess war? Who decided it would be a good idea to spend their money on one of these things, when that's ALL it does? I'd much rather just be a guy who is really good at chess. That way (as the guys from Moxy Fruvous would say) if there was a fire in the chess room, I could get up and leave but the computer couldn't... and I couldn't carry it either.

How come those little gumball machines only have really stupid stuff, and candy and sweets in them? Wouldn't anyone put their money in them if they had something healthy for you? Like, say they put some peas and carrots in one of 'em, and you turn the nob and get a handful of peas and carrots. Now THAT would be a treat. I can't tell you how many times I've been walking out of a store and looked at those machines and gone "Man, I wish they had peas and carrots... I could really go for some right now."

Whoever invented the spork must've had a lot of free time. He must've thought.. "I hate having to have a fork, AND a spoon... how can I fix this?" And so the spork was born. How come he called it "spork", and not "foon"? I like foon a lot better. I'm working on a Knorkoon... a knife, fork, spoon, combination... but it's kinda hard cos if you stuck the knife part in your mouth it might hurt, but you can't hold on to the knife part either... what a dilemma.

If they have moving sidewalks in the future I think people will have to stand so that they look like they're walking so that they don't scare all the dogs and cats. And if they have all moving sidewalks I think it would then be a treat to NOT have a moving sidewalk. Would there still be idiots who think it's fun to go the wrong way on them like there seem to be in every airport I've ever been to? Or would people get tired of that? I guess that would kind of kill the treadmill business too if you could just go outside and run on one instead of buying one. I don't really see why we have treadmills in the first place... how is that any different from any other running?

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait... maybe I'm thinking of the monorail at Disney.

I hope you enjoyed and you don't think I'm TOTALLY crazy, just mostly crazy.

Kev